David Bazan - Curse Your Branches - Barsuk, 2009
Dave…please take the time to look on the internet, find a pdf manual for your reverb plugin and learn how to turn it off. Were you forced to record your vocals in a cave? How gloomy of you. The most annoying thing about your huge vox is that now all my friends who think they are you, are going to mutilate their next ep with the same ridiculous effects. It could have worked on one or two tracks, but the whole damn thing? Really?! I’m going to pull Amy Poehler out of SNL semi-retirement and get her and Seth to do a Weekend Update bit on you. Really. This most recent annoyance aside, I have a bigger bone to pick with you, David. What the hell happened after Achilles Heel? Is your penis ego so big, that you couldn’t even handle a little collaboration? Your wiki says you collaborate; but when I read through that article, it sounds more like you were making guest appearances. T.W. was (in my meager opinion) one of the best things that happened to your music. That record had variety, emotion and color. Control is a decent album, too; but it all basically sounds like the same song in different keys and tempos. And this new stuff you’re doing is just boring. Your not a Christian anymore, so you sing about drinking beers with your buds. I would rather stuff you back in the Jesus-closet…at least in there you were singing about murder, sex and other general frustrations young men have in their 20’s. Last note, please tell me what the point was of “going solo”. You’ve changed members so many times over the years and remained Pedro the Lion, why change it up now? It’s not like you chose a more marketable band name…you went with YOUR name…as if your egomaniacal persona needed any more fuel. Now you can call me a liar, because I am bringing up one more thing: STOP PLAYING “LET DOWN”. You’ve been playing it so long that certain people I know think you wrote it. Its cute to do a Radiohead cover. Its lame to put said cover on an EP. You play that song, too, like you’re playing the gloomy version of it. HA! Just give that one up. You write better when you’re angry, not sad and contemplative. Hopefully, after reading this review, you’ll hit the studio and write songs about murdering online writers. The musiverse will once again be restored.