Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson - Break Up - Atco/Rhino, 2009
These songs sound so worn out. Why is SJ trying to sing like other people? Why even is she singing? Scarlett belongs in movies. At least that way we’re not subjected to the sorry person behind the fantasy. I made the mistake once of saying I thought Scarlett Johansson was hot (immediately after seeing Lost in Translation) and now I am verbally crucified by my wife anytime Johansson comes up in conversation or is in another crappy movie. She was off to a great start, being an indie film with Bill Murray. But something happened along the way and now she looks/sounds like a used up chew toy. The cover art for this album is trying to make us believe things that aren’t true. We’re supposed to think we’re getting a glimpse into an intimate moment between two people who “are in it for the music.” Nope. Wrong. Although I’ll give Warner Bro’s props for trying to connect with the average American…pawn shop guitar, worn out couch, vintage license plate decor, cardigan, ponytail. Cool. What may be the most disgusting thing about this piece of garbage is that I am secretly curious as to whether or not these two people had a real relationship. It’s that gossipy, black-tar center of my soul that wants to know if they screamed when they fought. Did they had sloppy, cry sex when they made up? At what secret location did they do their grocery shopping together? Then my brain starts working and I am sobered into reality with the obvious truth: marketers are getting smarter and these two people are whores.