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Posted on 14th March 2009
U2 - No Line on the Horizon - Interscope, 2009 When I see some(any)one in public wearing a cowboy hat, my mind is immediately flooded with images of girls getting harassed at bars by dudes in tank tops. This imagery has enough strength to even overpower the sheer legend of albums like War, Boy and The Joshua Tree. Churches might have also ruined U2’s image, but that’s another story for another blog. Though there are still correlations to draw from. No Line on the Horizon sounds like a Newsboys album, which, if you’re not familiar with Newsboys, they’re at the bottom of the ever-prestigious christian music food chain. An industry constantly 5 to 10 years behind the rest of the world and found only at Wal-Mart and Family Christian Bookstores. Our favoriteIrishrockboys weren’t always so crappy. As I previously stated, they were making some phenomenally real music at a time when Captain & Tennille were topping the charts. As I’m writing this, I have No Line on the Horizon “rockin” on my home stereo and I haven’t yet heard a single realsoundinginstrument. Nor has even one lyric out of Boner’s Bono’s lips meant anything that any real human being can connect with. It’s like when someone becomes a master at their art and they can no longer relate to people who breath air, work jobs and have problems. The guys in U2 have uncountableamountsofmoney, so why are they still putting so much, and at the same time so little, effort into raking it in? $50+ dollars a ticket? Come on. I know you’re helping people in Africa, Bono, but The Edge must have enough jets by now (however many that is, though the official number is somewhere between 13 and 17; a group of Harvard buttholes are still runnin the data on that one) and Tony literally wont survive if he renews his tanning membership. Why does Mullens look like the terminator and why isn’t he aging? That’s a scary amount of tryingtoohard. Well, my mind is made up; this album is unlistenable and I now need a double dose of Aleeve. Thanks Ireland, for the civil wars and mindless violence which inspired 4 wee lads to go rock the world for peace, and one day, inevitably give me the worst headache I’ve had in weeks.

U2 - No Line on the Horizon - Interscope, 2009

When I see some(any)one in public wearing a cowboy hat, my mind is immediately flooded with images of girls getting harassed at bars by dudes in tank tops. This imagery has enough strength to even overpower the sheer legend of albums like War, Boy and The Joshua Tree. Churches might have also ruined U2’s image, but that’s another story for another blog. Though there are still correlations to draw from. No Line on the Horizon sounds like a Newsboys album, which, if you’re not familiar with Newsboys, they’re at the bottom of the ever-prestigious christian music food chain. An industry constantly 5 to 10 years behind the rest of the world and found only at Wal-Mart and Family Christian Bookstores. Our favoriteIrishrockboys weren’t always so crappy. As I previously stated, they were making some phenomenally real music at a time when Captain & Tennille were topping the charts. As I’m writing this, I have No Line on the Horizon “rockin” on my home stereo and I haven’t yet heard a single realsoundinginstrument. Nor has even one lyric out of Boner’s Bono’s lips meant anything that any real human being can connect with. It’s like when someone becomes a master at their art and they can no longer relate to people who breath air, work jobs and have problems. The guys in U2 have uncountableamountsofmoney, so why are they still putting so much, and at the same time so little, effort into raking it in? $50+ dollars a ticket? Come on. I know you’re helping people in Africa, Bono, but The Edge must have enough jets by now (however many that is, though the official number is somewhere between 13 and 17; a group of Harvard buttholes are still runnin the data on that one) and Tony literally wont survive if he renews his tanning membership. Why does Mullens look like the terminator and why isn’t he aging? That’s a scary amount of tryingtoohard. Well, my mind is made up; this album is unlistenable and I now need a double dose of Aleeve. Thanks Ireland, for the civil wars and mindless violence which inspired 4 wee lads to go rock the world for peace, and one day, inevitably give me the worst headache I’ve had in weeks.